Now-a-days it is the trend among the people that they move in before marriage. Either love or attachment plays a vital role in it. But the main concept of men and women living together before marriage is considered as a sin in some religions, or most religions. But as the world is making progress so are the minds of people, changing according with the time. Now an individual before even engagement or marriage moves in and then tries to understand the other person. Sometimes, this is the reason and sometimes it is not depending on the thinking and mentality of people. But it can be a problem for women as well as for men. Now the basic problem is that what a person should do? Whether he should let the change happen, or he shouldn’t. A New Woman magazine study by Columbia University discovered that twenty six percent of women reviewed and a slight nineteen percent of men wed the individual with whom they were co-habiting. The mean cohabitant has several partners in a lifetime. Cohabitation involves “no public firm promise, no promise for the future, no authorized statement of love and blame. There is essentially a personal placement founded on an emotional bond. The ‘commitment’ of dwelling simultaneously is easily a month-to-month rental agreement.
There is a statement in The Future Of Marriage by Jessie Bernard in which he stated, “One fundamental fact underlies the conception of marriage itself. Some kind of firm pledge should be involved. Merely fly-by-night, feel and go relationships do not specify.” According to him the people who get married with a condition of dying with each other possess a reasonably distinct level of firm pledge, thus a quite distinct grade of security, therefore a rather distinct grade of freedom, and as an outcome a rather different grade of joyfulness than those who wed with a condition in their mind that they will last together till their love last. These types of people habitually anticipate the instant when they or their partner gets up one sunrise and discovers the fine emotion that retains them afloat has disintegrated under them. Cohabitation is a dangerous trend that has recently been too readily accepted without much resistance or criticism from society
Is cohabitation a sin or not depends on what one means by the word ‘moving in together’, in the Bible it is clearly stated that having a sexual relationship before marriage is a sin and in the Bible the word ‘fornication’ has been used to explain the forbidden deed of living together before marriage and how sexually immoral such an act is. In most of the religions practiced all over the world the concept of cohabitation is prohibited and is considered as a sin for which one cannot be forgiven. Many couples living together are happy internally but due to the guilt inside of committing a sin and the social not acceptance of their relationship disturb their bond and they are in a constant insecure state. America is a State where the society has widely accepted this socially constructed concept of living in together although Christianity does not allow that a man and women should live together before marriage as it results in temptation that leads them to cross every limit and turn into an ‘enemy of God’. Living together means two people with consensus making a decision to go against the will of God for the sake of love or sexual temptation, which can be definitely called a sin. Why a sin? Well because the whole approach undermines the value of a family structure and mainly because almost all the religions do not accept it as a moral deed.
A: Is living together before marriage wrong?
Cohabitation takes away the charm of marriage and turns it into a compromise if children are involved. Couples that move in together to try out if they can have a happy married life end up in a broken relationship which leaves a long lasting effect on their life’s. The growing trend of living together is wrong because according to various surveys and research reports the cohabitant couples are most likely not interested in marrying each other and even if they do there is a high rate of separation, sexual abuse and mental torture not only for the couple but for the children as well. How would a parent stop his/her daughter from living in with another guy if they have practiced the same act? Children of cohabitant couples have a high tendency of indulging in immoral activities in their young teenage and suffer from physical violence. The people who move in together before marriage are also expected to have extramarital affairs and are not good at commitments. Most importantly it is a religious sin and is an act if practiced pushes God’s blessing away from you. It is a physical attraction that leads to instability in life; even many satisfied live in partners end up in the torturing break ups and a constant feeling of fear and resentment. (Don Weston)
Some say cohabitation is not wrong, what is the big deal if two people want to live together and share their expenses and responsibilities? The younger generation of today finds ‘living together’ a very attractive package, one gets to enjoy all the desires without any legality. There is no risk of divorce, many justify it by claiming that moving in together before marriage gives them an opportunity to know each other more closely and decide whether to get involved in a legal relationship or not. With the rapid increase in modernization this trend has been now accepted as a culture in many parts of the United State.
B: Why do the Cons outweigh the Pro’s of ‘living together’ before marriage?
Living in together before marriage for the new generation is like a roller coaster ride for free! Whereas they don’t see the side effects of availing this package, the cons are enough for the critics to justify their criticism on living in together. Though many couples prefer moving in together rather than getting into a serious marital relationship which actually shows the level of commitment they share, and the sacred relation of marriage they are scared to get involved in. The more a couple is sexually active before marriage the greater they have a chance to get divorced, because they get over with all the temptation and craze as much as they prolong their ‘living together’ time period. (Fowler, 2005)
Cohabitation is forbidden:
The couples who favor cohabitation even if are in majority cannot deny that religiously as well as morally the concept of as a Bible calls it ‘fornication’ is forbidden by God in nature. The word pornography had been originated from this same word and as it is seen the society considers such websites and acts highly immoral and against their beliefs and religion. The acceptance of this concept by society means they are accepting a trend which will destroy the institution of marriage as well as the responsibility of parents will be questioned as well due to getting involved multiply in such a deed. Although this concept has been growing in Christ but Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and many other religions are strictly forbidden from committing any such deed and if they do so they believe that they will be answerable to God Almighty and even if God forgives; it is not easy to be forgiven by the society for something that is sinful and is forbidden in nature.
Grinberg, Emanuella. “Report: More women moving in before marriage.” 4 April 2013. CNN. 2013 <http://edition.cnn.com/2013/04/04/living/women-premarital-cohabitation>.
Gueren, Casey. “Are You Ready to Move in Together?” 11 April 2013. The Scoop. 2013 <http://blog.womenshealthmag.com/scoop/living-together-before-marriage/>.
Kaplan, Karen. “More Americans are living together before marriage, study finds.” 03 April 2013. L.ATimes. 2013 <http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/04/news/la-heb-more-americans-living-together-before-getting-married-20130404>.
Murray, Rheana. “Half of couples move in before marriage, stay there longer: CDC.” 5 May 2013. NYDailyNews. 2013 <http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/live-marriage-cdc-article-1.1307795>.
Staff, Patch. “Study Reported by CDC Reveals More People Now Live Together Before Marriage.” 5 April 2013. DuluthPatch. 2013 <http://duluth.patch.com/articles/study-reported-by-cdc-reveals-more-people-now-live-together-before-marriage>.
Don Weston, L. M. Twenty Good Reasons why not to cohabitant Before Marriage. Kansas City, Missouri: Family Life Ministries- Church of the Nazarene Jim Pettit, PhD coordinator.
Fowler, R. (2005) Scriptures on Living Together Before Marriage