True love is possibly the most fulfilling of life’s secret treasures. but love by a lesser standard is still extremely important for the human experience. In the poem True Love by Wislawa Szymborska Wislawa talks of how true love is overrated and unnecessary. But in truth the argument against true love is created to comfort those who lack it. Love, if not true love is an crucial emotion for the human race; it is important for psychological development, social development, and in the end happiness.
Is love an emotion? Even though love is a mixture of chemicals in the brain it is also a combination of emotions exhibited by the human race. It is the feelings of joy, support, and Strength given through companionship. Love is supposedly the great connector between different people around the globe. Love has driven mankind and its actions for centuries and will do so for centuries to come. Love for others and for heritage and home, provides a stable ground for a diverse community such as our world. But those lacking these basic emotions in their lives can cause disturbances in peoples lives. Even those with a love for their heritage or country may cause cracks in this “stable ground” if they cannot accept other peoples love for their own heritage or beliefs. True love for the romanticist is the ultimate goal, the purest form of love. A connection that runs extremely deep, binding two people eternally to support and love one another. But as most ultimate things are true love is extremely rare and in any day or age, it is equally hard to come bye. But for those lucky enough to gain true love it lasts them a lifetime. “Brain scans have proved that a small number of couples can respond with as much passion after 20 years as most people exhibit only in the first flush of love.”(Harlow, and Montague) But even without true love people connect and bind themselves to each other, searching for or trying to build the right relationship for themselves. Looking for someone to support them, keep them company, and someone to experience life with. Since the begging of human civilization people have sought out to connect with others, and once acquired these connections have influenced their decisions, actions, emotions, and their lives.
Love is an extremely important human emotion, from early age it can affect a child’s mentality. By establishing a connection with their parents and siblings children are also taught how to interact with others.”The child’s first relationship, the one with the mother, acts as a template, as it permanently molds the individual’s capacities to enter into all later emotional relationships.”(Young) These first relationships help explain how to navigate through social situations. These early relationships can also affect how a child acts ad feels. If a child’s relationships fail to form or their parents are distant, they may become socially awkward or develop low self esteem. But at the same time a child who has a fully developed relationship with their parents will be more understanding of basic emotions and empathy. This early base can affect peoples decisions throughout their lives. Love has been extremely important for people throughout history as well. Peoples love for their country would inspire them to defend it. Someones love for their job keeps them happy while at work. A soldier at war may think about his wife and child. All these people take inspiration from the people or this they love and use it to motivate themselves. But at the same time there are people who cant take inspiration from this emotion. People who have never found or built a true and strong connection with someone, or someone who is bitter and has regrets. These people either live one impassive or depressed, or grow cold and closed off. These people may no longer understand things like empathy and compassion.
Love can affect people in many different ways, it can bend and break an individual and it can bind two people together for the rest of their lives. Love has been a driving force for many people in their every day lives. For people who are bound together may support each other just with their existence. The very thought that they will be there for the person may drive them to face their responsibilities and complete any tasks assigned to them. Love can also destroy a persons will to live, especially love that is one sided. Feelings generated by knowing that the individual that is admired does not recognize ones own existence; much less one owns feelings directed towards them, can deprive a person of the will to sleep, eat, or in drastic cases feel compelled to uphold personal responsibilities. If left unchecked these people can turn into misanthropes, loathing those who have found happiness. “Let the people who never find true love keep saying that there’s no such thing. Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.”(Szymborska 577-578) True love can leave impressions on those blessed with it, leaving scars on those who forfeited their love or missed their chance. And wonderful memories for those who loved and lost. But in reality common love can affect people in similar ways. While common love also has the power to bind people and is very painful to lose, it can also bring people back together after their connection has been lost and then rebuild it. Where as with the apparent rarity of true love it is either acquired and held on to or is lost for good. This may be the one advantage of common place love over true love.
Love affects every single person on the entire planet. Weather it is someones drive to find true love, someones existing love, or someone who cannot find love, this emotion rules parts of their lives. For someone who cannot find love, it may turn them sour or bitter. lamenting over others good fortune these poor souls forget to keep vigil for their chance at love. As a driving force love can be extremely powerful weather in the case of driving the loveless to seek out companionship or driving the lover to action on behalf of his partner. Loves driving force has led people and nations to ruins but has also led a select few to glory and legend. Those who search out true love, depending on their style may go through many relation ships looking for their “soul mate”. The one true love to end all other minor feelings, but true love might be something crafted not found. And if so then what of all the others left behind in their search for true love? They are left to find or make their own spiritual connection with someone, or be left bitter, cold, or unaffected by love. For those whom love already exists true love may come with ease or difficulty, dependent on weather true love can be made or if it has to be found. If true love can be made then anyone who can continue a relationship until that connection is made can be truly happy with their lives.
Love has affected people since the beginning of time. In the Christian scripture god creates woman from man, so as to give man a companion. In the times before Christ in the bible men and women still married. Although some men are described as polygamist love could still prevail, as in The Story of Hosea and Gome. Where Hosea takes Gome back after she betrayed him and took another lover. Love has come through from this early beginnings of culture and society to todays twenty first century world. Love has spanned countless generations, no matter where in time it occurs love has connected countless people on a plane deeper than that of friendship and camaraderie. In todays modern world love can be described as something intangible yet still dangled in front of ones face. With the proliferation of dating websites like E-harmony and match.com finding true love has become a process that seems ever more so out of our control. Although with the change of time processes and methods of finding love or true love have changed, the fact is that people are still driven to companionship and the search for true love no matter how or when. The search for love will last as long as people feel emotions, as the feelings of fear, inadequacy and loneliness are what drive people to find another who will accept and soothe these feelings without any prejudice.
If someone loses their chance at love, and they turn bitter, or become depressed; they only need to remember that there is more than one chance for a meaningful relationship waiting for them. Every single person is a new connection waiting to be formed. Just because someone slips away does not mean that theres no hope. Even if someones childhood relationships are not fully formed, or someone has a hard time making a connection with other people; they can recover from their disadvantage. Every new relationship is another possibility and another chance at love.
- Harlow, John, and Brendan Montague. “Scientists discover true love.” Sunday Times January 4, 2009 : Web. 8 Dec 2009. <http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article5439805.ece>.
- Szymborska, Wislawa. “True Love.” Making Literature Matter. ‘Ed’. John Schilb, John Clifford. Boston: Bedford / ST. Martin’s, 2009. Print.
- Young, Cori. “Child Development is Almost Entirely About Love, Research Clearly Shows.” Natural Humor Medicine. Natural Humor Medicine, Web. 8 Dec 2009. <http://www.natural-humor-medicine.com/child-development.html>.